The Space We Make

Whoever said, “When someone is going through a hard time,
Give them space”—
Perhaps they meant well.
If they weren’t there for you,
Maybe they were struggling too.
But lately, I’ve come to see:
For the ones who truly matter,
We find the space they need,
And somehow, they find space for us too.
Were we just excusing their flaws all along?
Or is true closeness the space we make
For each other?

There was a time when I really needed a shoulder by my side. I’ll admit, it might sound selfish, but I longed for their support and presence. Instead, they stepped away. When I asked why, their response was, “I was going through a hard time too. You can’t expect me to show up for you.”

It hurt. But then I thought of my best friend, a person who, even while walking through their own storms, never failed to make time for me. Not because life was easy for them, but because they cared enough to make an effort.

That contrast opened my eyes. Some people, no matter how heavy their burdens, will always make room for others. Others may be so weighed down by their struggles that they cannot see beyond them. And that’s okay too. Everyone copes in their own way.

What I’ve learned is this: true closeness isn’t about being perfect or always available. It’s about the effort we make for each other, even when life is messy. It’s about knowing when to give space and when to step closer.

To anyone reading this, I hope it reminds you to check in on those who matter, even when your own days feel heavy. A small act of presence can mean the world. And if someone isn’t able to show up for you, let it be a reflection of where they are on their journey—not of your worth.

Because at the heart of it, love and friendship are simply about making space for one another, in big ways and small, through calm skies and through storms.